When we consider the throes of orgasm, what comes to mind is the typical genital area, and the classic “genital sneeze” — the quick burst of ecstasy from our clitoral or penial nerves and superfluous circulation. Even the term orgasm can limit our thinking — and experience — to that alone. But when we shift our idea of an orgasm to the more energetic concept of orgasmic energy, then ecstasy becomes ubiquitous.
A major part of embracing this concept has nothing to do with our nerve endings, and everythingto do with our psyche. We have to totally separate our sexual, physical selves from the idea of what a climax means. What we know of a climax is that it is brief and distinctly discernable — there’s no other feel-good experience like it. But a strictly sexual, genital, physical climax is limited. In a single session of solo or partnered play, we can only experience this a handful of times. For some of us, one is already a challenge to meet as it is.
However, energy orgasms are available to all of us, infinite times, in infinite ways. If a non-genital orgasm sounds like some woo-woo BS to you (ugh, we hate the term woo-woo, but we get it), it’s time to open up. Pun intended. In fact, many studies show that humans are capable of having orgasmic experiences in a multitude of ways, including during exercise, riding in vehicles, eating, auditory stimulation, and more, concluding that orgasmic feelings aren’t just associated with gential contact but with many various forms of sensorial stimulation.
Because we need to open our minds to achieve energetic orgasm, you can guess that they are experienced mostly through that portal. For many, this can actually be more challenging than connecting to the body. The difference really lies in the notion that a physical, genital orgasm is centered around working for and focusing on the end goal, aka the manifestation of pleasure, whereas a whole-body or energy orgasm is achieved through the beauty of surrender. We don’t necessarily feel it concentrated in one area with extra blood flow, but rather, we feel it all over, enveloping us. Hence, “whole body” or “energy.”
This concept is a challenge to grasp, because we’ve been conditioned to associate the word “orgasm” with sexual contact, and sexual contact only. We’ve heard people joke that a certain meal gave them a “mouth-gasm” or that some sort of sensory experience was orgasmic — such as bathing in a tropical waterfall, or hearing a beautifully performed piece of music. But if we step away from the idea that calling these non-sexual experiences orgasmic is a joke, we can make room to understand that a heightened sense of pleasure is genuinely and simply orgasmic. No tongue-in-cheek, no tongue-in elsewhere.
So when we say an energetic orgasm is about surrender, we mean that it’s about surrendering to the moment and entire experience rather than honing in on that explosive end result. It’s about releasing oneself to a moment of pleasure. We can practice this by engaging in mindfulness exercises, and by paying attention to our body and all our sensations, and what we are experiencing everywhere. That way, we can begin to detect even the slightest tinge of pleasure, no matter where it manifests in the body. The best way to start? Deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Once we are aware of our breath, we can breathe into all corners of the physical body, expanding and shrinking, feeling the pleasure of the life force entering and exiting. It’s not as sexual as it sounds … or is it?